Sunday, September 19, 2021

Help us Hope for Tomorrow (Surrogacy Gofundme)

Greetings!

I will never get tired of sharing my thanks for the tremendous support Jacob and I have been shown this past year. You have been sharing the posts about us ever since we were first announced to be missing - and that’s the reason we were found! Thousands of compassionate people around the world, and two heroic men who came looking for us once they heard the news, despite having just worked a 12-hour shift. We would have died out there if it hadn’t been for their heroism, and your viral post-sharing to get them the news in the first place.

 

Then, you shared our original gofundme 42,000 times, and more than 5,000 of you donated!

 

Faced with well over $2 million in medical expenses, not to mention lost income, your support has been breathtaking. Between your generosity, medical insurance, and some limited government assistance, we’re going to be able to move forward without medical debt. What a tremendous blessing! Like I said, I will never get tired of sharing my thanks!

 

Also so many of you sent us checks and personal cards in the mail, brought us meals, and have supported us in so many ways. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

 

As we prepare to move forward into our next chapter of life, I would so appreciate if you guys could also share our new surrogacy gofundme page. Babies! 🥰

 

This is the link:

 

https://gofund.me/4a27b306

 

Also, if anyone would like to donate by sending a check in the mail or a Venmo transfer, here is that information as well:

 

Venmo: @Jacob-Hyland

 

Address:

Jacob and Jamie Hyland

PO Box 1512

Maple Valley, WA 98038

 

Again… thank you, thank you, thank you!

 

Also, I really appreciate the kind words many of you have given me about my artwork. I take a lot of comfort in being able to paint, it helps me dream and imagine and nurture hope in my heart. Babies! 🥰

 

Here is a painting I was originally planning to use as the gofundme cover page, but I ended up choosing my other painting instead. I still like this one though, and seeing my paintbrushes and palettes in the background makes me feel cozy. ☺️ 

 


Uriel always loved. Always remembered.

Tuesday, September 7, 2021

When you aren't living God's "Plan A" for your life

What is God's "Plan A" for your life? This is a loaded question, implying that God's plan doesn't always happen. I believe this implication is accurate. It wasn't God's plan for Adam and Eve to eat the fruit, but He sure whipped up a "Plan B" following that event. My little family taking a camping trip seems entirely within the will of God, but it sure wasn't His will for our children to die and my womb to be lost. Yet we're pressing forward anyway and God has not abandoned us or stopped making plans for us.

What I'm saying is that it is possible to know God's will, and it is possible for it to be sabotaged to some extent, and God will pick up the pieces and move forward with you anyway. I'm going to start with this scripture:

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. - Romans 12:2

God's will for your life is very personal between you and Him to work out, but there are some overall guidelines that are applicable to all. I'll cite my scripture references for this at the end of the post.

Second, we know that "in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28) Of course, it doesn't say all things that happen are good, just that He will use them for good. What if a person was undergoing surgery and the doctor made a mistake, causing the person to be permanently wheelchair-bound? That's not good and that's not God's plan. But unless there is a miraculous healing, God will use that situation for good, if the person is a steadfast believer (loves God and is called according to his purpose).

Some people will say it was God's plan for that person to become disabled. I disagree. In John 10:10 Jesus says, "The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly."

I think losing the ability to walk would fall in the "kill, steal, and destroy," category, not the "abundant life" category. But that doesn't mean God can't meet that person where they're at and establish areas of abundance in their life despite all that's been stollen from them. Why doesn't God just miraculously heal their legs, though? Why doesn't God restore "Plan A" when He can? Well, sometimes He does. And when He doesn't, we either need to learn to live with it, keep contending in prayer for the miracle, or both. That's certainly where I'm at in life with my situation.

Anyway, so, here are some overall guidelines for a scriptural understanding of God's will for a believer's life:

His plan for us is abundant life! His plan is for us to seek Him diligently with all our hearts, know Him intimately and experience the richness and fullness of that. Knowing Him intimately is literally the definition of eternal life! From this place of intimacy and a renewed mind, we can follow the guidance of the Holy Spirit in our specific circumstances. It is God's will for us to be in perfect health: spiritually, mentally/emotionally, and physically. The plan is for us to have endurance, strength, energy and vitality. He wants our souls to prosper, for us to be radiant and unashamed, to make our boast in the Lord and praise Him continually. He wants us to walk in the truth. He wants us to know the fear of the Lord, which is not to be scared, but is to have an awe, a wonder, a respect and high regard. He wants us to have the capacity to be content in whatever the circumstance, whether need or plenty, by the strength of Christ. We are to be led by the spirit and operate in the fruits of the spirit. Love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. He generally desires for us to seek a quiet life where we work with our hands (I think that describes 99% of all work, both in the home and out of it).

The Lord tells us that children are a blessing, that we as believers should serve one another humbly in love, that we should seek to outdo each other in giving honor. We are warned against biting and devouring (bickering and putting each other down), lest we be destroyed by each other. Rather, we are commanded to encourage and build each other up, bear with each other and forgive, and to let love be genuine. We are to look out for the interest of others, valuing them above ourselves. We are told to choose our friends carefully, to walk with the wise and become wise, to accept discipline and advice. It is God's will for us to seek peace and pursue it in our relationships. We are told to give ourselves fully to the work of the Lord, whatever that may be for each of us.

Ah, God's wonderful will for our lives. Isn't that all so beautiful? Wouldn't it be wonderful to live in that type of atmosphere our entire lives? But regardless of past or present experience, this is not only a worthy goal or a nice idea, it is literally our inheritance and our responsibility as believers to pursue this type of relationship with God and others.


Now, what are the circumstances that can take us out of this "Plan A"? Well, God allows us to be effected by our own free will, by the free will of others, and also by chance to some extent. 

We enter this world as small and helpless little humans, totally dependent on our parents or guardians to care for us and protect us. Gal 5:13 says, "serve one another humbly in love." Not all of us have experienced parenthood, but we've all experienced childhood. Whether we had great parents or not-so-great parents, many of us have experienced situations in which the adults in our lives didn't know how to love us like this, and thus, even from our early years God's "Plan A" for our lives can be disrupted. Even in childhood seeds of insecurity, fear, selfishness, anxiety, wrong priorities, and a host of other issues can be unwittingly nurtured by parents who don't know how to serve their children humbly in love and impart security, character, and wisdom.

As parents, we must do our best to nurture good seeds instead, whether we got that nurturing from our own parents or not. Because God has the ability to restore us to His plan of a functional person with His peace indwelling, and He also uses other believers to invest in us and help to equip us. We must not take lightly our job to serve these little ones humbly in love, and also to teach them to serve others humbly in love as well. We do this first and foremost by example. We need to be attuned to the needs of our children, both physical and emotional, and value their needs above our own. As they get older, we need to teach them to recognize the needs of those around them (even our own needs as their parent sometimes) so they don't think the world revolves around them. This also we can teach by example as we "look out not only for our own interests but for the interest of those around us."( Phil 2:3-4) As we serve other members of our community, our children see this and can also participate.

We need to be slow to scold and quick to listen, sympathetic and helpful as our children sort out their little life dilemmas and desires. But we also need to give them the security of firm boundaries. We should encroach upon them as little as possible, but for the sake of safety and a standard of character there does need to be a few boundaries which are maintained with firm, gentle, loving and humble discipline. We should be stable and trustworthy, quick to affirm and accept our children in both their victories and their struggles, allowing them to live their own lives and own their own personhood, allowing them to make mistakes in safe environments, helping them brush off the dust and move forward without too much fuss. We need to be worthy of their trust, people they know they can come to, openly and honestly, without fear of being shamed for their humanity. Proverbs 13:20 says "Walk with the wise and become wise," and we should be that for our children. Too often parents and children get caught up in petty power struggles and are never able to develop this kind of relationship.

It is possible to be this kind of parent, but only as we submit ourselves fully to Christ and allow Him to heal our hearts and renew our minds. Some of us had parents who totally failed us, but most of us had parents with varying levels of success. Either way, we need to put whatever effort necessary into co-laboring with Christ so that we can become the parents God desires our children to have. Let each generation honor the generation that came before for their investment, and seek to invest even more yet into the next generation.

I got off on a mini parenting-tangent, but the point I want to make here is that sometimes God's "Plan A" for our lives can be sabotaged by the sin or mistakes of others. Whether that be parents, a drunk driver, a gossiping classmate, a back-stabbing business partner, a murderer, a crooked politician, persecution and imprisonment in an anti-Christian nation, an arson... or whatever. We are effected by the free will of other people.

Second, we can definitely sabotage God's "Plan A" with our own free will. We can choose pride instead of humility and burn a bridge with someone who might have ended up being a lifelong friend. We can play loose with our love life and end up with repeated heartbreaks. We can feed ourselves on trashy media and skew our view of the world and what's important. We can choose to embrace our human sinful nature in so many ways. We can walk in selfishness, blowing people off and always looking out for #1. We can build up a stronghold of self-righteousness, never willing to truly confront the flesh or the enemy's whispers, because we are so convinced of our own perfection. 

Whether we do these things out of ignorance or foolishness, it still results in bad fruit. Some of this bad fruit can be remedied if we come to repentance, though. We may never regain that friendship we lost, but the Lord can bring new friendships and rich fellowship. The place of romance and sexuality in our lives is a garden of sacred ground, and if it has been trashed the Lord is fully capable of washing it clean with His blood, every shame and every haunting flashback cleansed from your soul. You can feel clean inside. And the Lord can pick up the pieces of whatever situation you find yourself in and guide you forward. Some people are dealing with marriage to an unbeliever, some people are dealing with single parenthood, every situation is different but if you yield it to God He will come through for you with "Plan B". Similarly with all the other examples, no matter what ways one may have previously engaged in destiny sabotage, God will work with them moving forward if they yield.

And thirdly, we live in a fallen world. Sometimes circumstances can happen by "chance". One can be in the wrong place at the wrong time and have a tree fall on them in their car. They can eat healthy, exercise regularly, live in a toxin-free area, and still get cancer. It's much less likely, but possible. An earthquake could come through, or there could be a detrimental misunderstanding, or various accidents. Being in the wrong time at the wrong place can just happen sometimes.

But, no matter what has happened to throw off "Plan A", God is a master of "Plan B, C, D, E, F, G, H..." and so on. For anyone who loves Him and is called according to His purpose... i.e., is willing to diligently seek Him and yield themselves to Him... He can pick up the pieces and work things out for good. In most circumstances, I'm gonna say "Plan A" is better. But that doesn't mean "Plan B" can't be good.


This is my stance, this is my belief, this is what gets me out of bed in the morning. I do believe that the emotion of hope needs to be nurtured, for faith is the substance of things hoped for. Some promises will be fulfilled in this life, and some will be fulfilled in the life to come, but either way we are called to faith, hope, and love. Yet if my hope is largely built upon logic and theological belief, I say that's a good place to start. Emotions come and go, but building on the rebar of truth is the only reliable place to be.

I am resigned to the pain of this life, but I am not without hope, for I know what scripture says about God's plans for a believer's life. I know that throughout history we have seen Christians die in prison camps or thrown to the lions because they refused to give up their faith, and God has definitely used that for good, and I know He will use whatever misery I endure for good too, but I know His heart for me is not misery. And even in my misery, there is the richness of knowing that I am held in the palm of His hand and my eternity is secure. No matter how many times God's plans for me may be sabotaged here on earth, this is temporary.

All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance, admitting that they were foreigners and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them. -Hebrews 11:13-16

I have come to terms with the idea that I may not receive the things I hope for in this life. But that isn't going to stop me from pressing forward with hope. And I will always continue to pursue the presence of God, which is my deepest desire.

How lovely is your dwelling place,

Lord Almighty!

My soul yearns, even faints,

for the courts of the Lord;

my heart and my flesh cry out

for the living God.

Even the sparrow has found a home,

and the swallow a nest for herself,

where she may have her young—

a place near your altar,

Lord Almighty, my King and my God.

                                     Psalm 84:1-3

This scripture has long been one of my life verses, my deepest desire, the thing I will always pursue. To dwell in the presence of God is first. And second, second is to establish my nest and raise my young in His presence. 

With that, I will conclude this post. 

Uriel always loved. Always remembered. In Heaven one year today.


Scriptures

Personal

 

John 17:3                                Eternal life is to KNOW Him (intimate, experiential, relational knowledge).

Jeremiah 29:13                        Seek God with one’s whole heart.

Philippians 4:11-13                To be able to be content whatever the circumstances, whether in need or in plenty, through the strength of Christ.

3 John 1:2-3                            That you may prosper in all things and be in health, with a prospering soul, walking in the truth.

Psalm 34                                 Boast in the Lord, be radiant and unashamed, bless His name and praise Him continually. Seek the Lord and learn the fear (respect, regard, awe) of the Lord.

Isaiah 40:29-31                       Endurance, strength, energy and vitality.

Galatians 5:3-26                      Be led by the spirit and operate in the fruits of the spirit. Love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

1 Thessalonians 4:11              Seek to live a quiet life and work with your hands.

Romans 12:2                           Don’t conform to the patterns of society, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. This will allow you to know God’s perfect will.

John 10:10                              Abundant life

Psalm 34                                 Not lacking any good thing.

Deuteronomy 30:19                Choice before you, life and death, blessings and cursing.

Romans 8:28                           God uses all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purposes.

 

Social/Community/Family

 

Psalm 127:3                            Children are a blessing

Galatians 5:13-26                    Serve one another humbly in love, love your neighbor as yourself, don’t bite and devour one another.

1 Thessalonians 5:11              Encourage and build up one another up.

Colossians 3:13                       Bear with each other and forgive.

Romans 12:9-10                      Let love be genuine, seek to outdo each other in giving honor.

Philippians 2:3-4                    In humility value others above yourself and not only look out for your own interest but the interest of others.

Proverbs 12:26                        The righteous choose their friends carefully.

Proverbs 13:20                        Walk with the wise and become wise.

Proverbs 19:20                        Accept discipline and advice, be wise.

Psalm 34                                 Seek peace and pursue it.

1 Corinthians 15:58                Give yourself fully to the work of the Lord.

Shiloh 1 Month Old

Shiloh Ocean's first visit to the ocean! Dada put a flower in her hair.