The Process of Surrogacy

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On to my post here -

This scientific undertaking operates the same way as traditional IVF, except the baby is planted into the womb of the surrogate rather than the womb of the biological mother.

The first steps are to create embryos - tiny babies who can be frozen at 5 days old, then thawed and transferred into a womb. The national average gives each transferred embryo a 58% chance of survival, but ORM Fertility has a higher success rate. Each time we transfer a tiny baby, there will be a 76% chance of survival.

In order to create these embryos, my ovaries need to be stimulated with daily injections in my tummy for two weeks, causing many eggs to mature. Harvesting them is done with the aid of transvaginal ultrasound. My husband’s sperm is then released onto the eggs in a test tube, just like what usually happens in the Fallopian tubes. 

It is possible we may be collecting 15-20 eggs, but we will not be fertilizing all of them. We believe in life at conception under all circumstances, so having “leftover” embryos isn’t an option for us. So most will be frozen as unfertilized eggs, with the opportunity to become embryos in future if needed.

The science also exists to do genetic testing on embryos - which can reveal if any of them are at higher risk for Down’s syndrome/miscarriage. We pray that all our babies are healthy, but we are committed to each life no matter what. So we will not be doing genetic testing, as the fertility clinic will not transfer any embryo that “fails” the test. The science of genetically testing an embryo actually reveals the baby’s gender as well, which is fascinating. But no matter, I’ve always loved surprises when it comes to that.

After these babies are created and safely tucked away in the freezer, it is time to make preparations with a surrogate. Each state has different laws that govern surrogacy. In Washington, it is illegal to move forward without a legal contract written by the intended parents’ lawyer and reviewed by the surrogate’s lawyer. Also the lawyer writes a pre-birth order in the second trimester, which is how legal parentage is established upon birth. 

Once the contract is in place, the surrogate needs to take daily injections for 10 weeks to prepare her womb to receive the transferred embryo. This guarantees her uterine lining is receptive. Another option I’m going to ask my fertility doctor about is natural cycle transfer. She initially said it isn’t an option, but I hope she’ll reconsider. There is *one* day each month where a woman’s uterine lining is naturally receptive to an embryo, about 6 days after her natural ovulation. Taking advantage of that could seriously reduce the number of injections/medications my surrogate would need. And injections aren’t fun, so the less the better! There would be some cost savings on injections, but also some cost increases on extra monitoring to find the exact right day of her cycle. If that one right day falls on the weekend, we would have to wait until the next month and hope it fell on a weekday. This is why my fertility doctor said they don’t do natural cycle transfer, because they don’t have enough staffing for weekend visits. But I’m going to tell her we don’t mind giving it several cycles if that’s what it takes. I hope it can work out!

Another consideration is the number of embryos to be transferred at one time. For our first journey, we are only planning to transfer one embryo. It’s possible for this baby to split into identical twins, but very unlikely.

Once I have a pregnant surrogate, my fertility doctor would monitor her for the first 10 weeks, prescribing progesterone suppositories, then release her to the care of a midwife. Everything would operate like a natural pregnancy from that point on. Sometimes a surrogate can use her personal insurance to cover the pregnancy care with a midwife or OB, but often the intended parents need to purchase a separate policy. 

Meanwhile once I have a pregnant surrogate, I will be taking artificial hormones to help me re-lactate. The nursing relationship I had with my little boy was precious, and I want to give that to each of my children.

So that’s a summary of what our next chapter in life will look like! We haven’t created our embryos yet, but we are established with ORM Fertility and are taking steps in that direction. We have a dear friend who will most likely be our first surrogate, but the details and the timeframe aren’t quite established yet. 

I am happy to share about this new season. As heartbreaking as it is that I can’t be pregnant, it is a relief to have this option. When my fertility doctor was checking on the condition of my ovaries with an ultrasound, I asked her to see if there was any portion of womb. Sadly there was nothing. This doesn’t mean God may not yet perform a miracle, but so far nothing there. So we will continue taking these steps towards surrogacy. Jacob and I miss Uriel so much, every day, and that empty place in our hearts will always be there holding his memory. But as much as we miss our son, we also miss being parents. One pain is forever, the other pain is temporary. I don’t know how quickly this surrogacy journey will get rolling or whether or not there will be setbacks along the way. I can only take one step at a time. I do not know how long it will be until I can hold my next baby in my arms. And though he or she will not be growing in my womb, this precious little person is already growing in my heart. 

Here is a watercolor/digital artwork I painted, imagining the day when I get to hold and nurse my next baby.

Uriel always loved. Always remembered.