Tuesday, September 7, 2021

When you aren't living God's "Plan A" for your life

What is God's "Plan A" for your life? This is a loaded question, implying that God's plan doesn't always happen. I believe this implication is accurate. It wasn't God's plan for Adam and Eve to eat the fruit, but He sure whipped up a "Plan B" following that event. My little family taking a camping trip seems entirely within the will of God, but it sure wasn't His will for our children to die and my womb to be lost. Yet we're pressing forward anyway and God has not abandoned us or stopped making plans for us.

What I'm saying is that it is possible to know God's will, and it is possible for it to be sabotaged to some extent, and God will pick up the pieces and move forward with you anyway. I'm going to start with this scripture:

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. - Romans 12:2

God's will for your life is very personal between you and Him to work out, but there are some overall guidelines that are applicable to all. I'll cite my scripture references for this at the end of the post.

Second, we know that "in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28) Of course, it doesn't say all things that happen are good, just that He will use them for good. What if a person was undergoing surgery and the doctor made a mistake, causing the person to be permanently wheelchair-bound? That's not good and that's not God's plan. But unless there is a miraculous healing, God will use that situation for good, if the person is a steadfast believer (loves God and is called according to his purpose).

Some people will say it was God's plan for that person to become disabled. I disagree. In John 10:10 Jesus says, "The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly."

I think losing the ability to walk would fall in the "kill, steal, and destroy," category, not the "abundant life" category. But that doesn't mean God can't meet that person where they're at and establish areas of abundance in their life despite all that's been stollen from them. Why doesn't God just miraculously heal their legs, though? Why doesn't God restore "Plan A" when He can? Well, sometimes He does. And when He doesn't, we either need to learn to live with it, keep contending in prayer for the miracle, or both. That's certainly where I'm at in life with my situation.

Anyway, so, here are some overall guidelines for a scriptural understanding of God's will for a believer's life:

His plan for us is abundant life! His plan is for us to seek Him diligently with all our hearts, know Him intimately and experience the richness and fullness of that. Knowing Him intimately is literally the definition of eternal life! From this place of intimacy and a renewed mind, we can follow the guidance of the Holy Spirit in our specific circumstances. It is God's will for us to be in perfect health: spiritually, mentally/emotionally, and physically. The plan is for us to have endurance, strength, energy and vitality. He wants our souls to prosper, for us to be radiant and unashamed, to make our boast in the Lord and praise Him continually. He wants us to walk in the truth. He wants us to know the fear of the Lord, which is not to be scared, but is to have an awe, a wonder, a respect and high regard. He wants us to have the capacity to be content in whatever the circumstance, whether need or plenty, by the strength of Christ. We are to be led by the spirit and operate in the fruits of the spirit. Love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. He generally desires for us to seek a quiet life where we work with our hands (I think that describes 99% of all work, both in the home and out of it).

The Lord tells us that children are a blessing, that we as believers should serve one another humbly in love, that we should seek to outdo each other in giving honor. We are warned against biting and devouring (bickering and putting each other down), lest we be destroyed by each other. Rather, we are commanded to encourage and build each other up, bear with each other and forgive, and to let love be genuine. We are to look out for the interest of others, valuing them above ourselves. We are told to choose our friends carefully, to walk with the wise and become wise, to accept discipline and advice. It is God's will for us to seek peace and pursue it in our relationships. We are told to give ourselves fully to the work of the Lord, whatever that may be for each of us.

Ah, God's wonderful will for our lives. Isn't that all so beautiful? Wouldn't it be wonderful to live in that type of atmosphere our entire lives? But regardless of past or present experience, this is not only a worthy goal or a nice idea, it is literally our inheritance and our responsibility as believers to pursue this type of relationship with God and others.


Now, what are the circumstances that can take us out of this "Plan A"? Well, God allows us to be effected by our own free will, by the free will of others, and also by chance to some extent. 

We enter this world as small and helpless little humans, totally dependent on our parents or guardians to care for us and protect us. Gal 5:13 says, "serve one another humbly in love." Not all of us have experienced parenthood, but we've all experienced childhood. Whether we had great parents or not-so-great parents, many of us have experienced situations in which the adults in our lives didn't know how to love us like this, and thus, even from our early years God's "Plan A" for our lives can be disrupted. Even in childhood seeds of insecurity, fear, selfishness, anxiety, wrong priorities, and a host of other issues can be unwittingly nurtured by parents who don't know how to serve their children humbly in love and impart security, character, and wisdom.

As parents, we must do our best to nurture good seeds instead, whether we got that nurturing from our own parents or not. Because God has the ability to restore us to His plan of a functional person with His peace indwelling, and He also uses other believers to invest in us and help to equip us. We must not take lightly our job to serve these little ones humbly in love, and also to teach them to serve others humbly in love as well. We do this first and foremost by example. We need to be attuned to the needs of our children, both physical and emotional, and value their needs above our own. As they get older, we need to teach them to recognize the needs of those around them (even our own needs as their parent sometimes) so they don't think the world revolves around them. This also we can teach by example as we "look out not only for our own interests but for the interest of those around us."( Phil 2:3-4) As we serve other members of our community, our children see this and can also participate.

We need to be slow to scold and quick to listen, sympathetic and helpful as our children sort out their little life dilemmas and desires. But we also need to give them the security of firm boundaries. We should encroach upon them as little as possible, but for the sake of safety and a standard of character there does need to be a few boundaries which are maintained with firm, gentle, loving and humble discipline. We should be stable and trustworthy, quick to affirm and accept our children in both their victories and their struggles, allowing them to live their own lives and own their own personhood, allowing them to make mistakes in safe environments, helping them brush off the dust and move forward without too much fuss. We need to be worthy of their trust, people they know they can come to, openly and honestly, without fear of being shamed for their humanity. Proverbs 13:20 says "Walk with the wise and become wise," and we should be that for our children. Too often parents and children get caught up in petty power struggles and are never able to develop this kind of relationship.

It is possible to be this kind of parent, but only as we submit ourselves fully to Christ and allow Him to heal our hearts and renew our minds. Some of us had parents who totally failed us, but most of us had parents with varying levels of success. Either way, we need to put whatever effort necessary into co-laboring with Christ so that we can become the parents God desires our children to have. Let each generation honor the generation that came before for their investment, and seek to invest even more yet into the next generation.

I got off on a mini parenting-tangent, but the point I want to make here is that sometimes God's "Plan A" for our lives can be sabotaged by the sin or mistakes of others. Whether that be parents, a drunk driver, a gossiping classmate, a back-stabbing business partner, a murderer, a crooked politician, persecution and imprisonment in an anti-Christian nation, an arson... or whatever. We are effected by the free will of other people.

Second, we can definitely sabotage God's "Plan A" with our own free will. We can choose pride instead of humility and burn a bridge with someone who might have ended up being a lifelong friend. We can play loose with our love life and end up with repeated heartbreaks. We can feed ourselves on trashy media and skew our view of the world and what's important. We can choose to embrace our human sinful nature in so many ways. We can walk in selfishness, blowing people off and always looking out for #1. We can build up a stronghold of self-righteousness, never willing to truly confront the flesh or the enemy's whispers, because we are so convinced of our own perfection. 

Whether we do these things out of ignorance or foolishness, it still results in bad fruit. Some of this bad fruit can be remedied if we come to repentance, though. We may never regain that friendship we lost, but the Lord can bring new friendships and rich fellowship. The place of romance and sexuality in our lives is a garden of sacred ground, and if it has been trashed the Lord is fully capable of washing it clean with His blood, every shame and every haunting flashback cleansed from your soul. You can feel clean inside. And the Lord can pick up the pieces of whatever situation you find yourself in and guide you forward. Some people are dealing with marriage to an unbeliever, some people are dealing with single parenthood, every situation is different but if you yield it to God He will come through for you with "Plan B". Similarly with all the other examples, no matter what ways one may have previously engaged in destiny sabotage, God will work with them moving forward if they yield.

And thirdly, we live in a fallen world. Sometimes circumstances can happen by "chance". One can be in the wrong place at the wrong time and have a tree fall on them in their car. They can eat healthy, exercise regularly, live in a toxin-free area, and still get cancer. It's much less likely, but possible. An earthquake could come through, or there could be a detrimental misunderstanding, or various accidents. Being in the wrong time at the wrong place can just happen sometimes.

But, no matter what has happened to throw off "Plan A", God is a master of "Plan B, C, D, E, F, G, H..." and so on. For anyone who loves Him and is called according to His purpose... i.e., is willing to diligently seek Him and yield themselves to Him... He can pick up the pieces and work things out for good. In most circumstances, I'm gonna say "Plan A" is better. But that doesn't mean "Plan B" can't be good.


This is my stance, this is my belief, this is what gets me out of bed in the morning. I do believe that the emotion of hope needs to be nurtured, for faith is the substance of things hoped for. Some promises will be fulfilled in this life, and some will be fulfilled in the life to come, but either way we are called to faith, hope, and love. Yet if my hope is largely built upon logic and theological belief, I say that's a good place to start. Emotions come and go, but building on the rebar of truth is the only reliable place to be.

I am resigned to the pain of this life, but I am not without hope, for I know what scripture says about God's plans for a believer's life. I know that throughout history we have seen Christians die in prison camps or thrown to the lions because they refused to give up their faith, and God has definitely used that for good, and I know He will use whatever misery I endure for good too, but I know His heart for me is not misery. And even in my misery, there is the richness of knowing that I am held in the palm of His hand and my eternity is secure. No matter how many times God's plans for me may be sabotaged here on earth, this is temporary.

All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance, admitting that they were foreigners and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them. -Hebrews 11:13-16

I have come to terms with the idea that I may not receive the things I hope for in this life. But that isn't going to stop me from pressing forward with hope. And I will always continue to pursue the presence of God, which is my deepest desire.

How lovely is your dwelling place,

Lord Almighty!

My soul yearns, even faints,

for the courts of the Lord;

my heart and my flesh cry out

for the living God.

Even the sparrow has found a home,

and the swallow a nest for herself,

where she may have her young—

a place near your altar,

Lord Almighty, my King and my God.

                                     Psalm 84:1-3

This scripture has long been one of my life verses, my deepest desire, the thing I will always pursue. To dwell in the presence of God is first. And second, second is to establish my nest and raise my young in His presence. 

With that, I will conclude this post. 

Uriel always loved. Always remembered. In Heaven one year today.


Scriptures

Personal

 

John 17:3                                Eternal life is to KNOW Him (intimate, experiential, relational knowledge).

Jeremiah 29:13                        Seek God with one’s whole heart.

Philippians 4:11-13                To be able to be content whatever the circumstances, whether in need or in plenty, through the strength of Christ.

3 John 1:2-3                            That you may prosper in all things and be in health, with a prospering soul, walking in the truth.

Psalm 34                                 Boast in the Lord, be radiant and unashamed, bless His name and praise Him continually. Seek the Lord and learn the fear (respect, regard, awe) of the Lord.

Isaiah 40:29-31                       Endurance, strength, energy and vitality.

Galatians 5:3-26                      Be led by the spirit and operate in the fruits of the spirit. Love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

1 Thessalonians 4:11              Seek to live a quiet life and work with your hands.

Romans 12:2                           Don’t conform to the patterns of society, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. This will allow you to know God’s perfect will.

John 10:10                              Abundant life

Psalm 34                                 Not lacking any good thing.

Deuteronomy 30:19                Choice before you, life and death, blessings and cursing.

Romans 8:28                           God uses all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purposes.

 

Social/Community/Family

 

Psalm 127:3                            Children are a blessing

Galatians 5:13-26                    Serve one another humbly in love, love your neighbor as yourself, don’t bite and devour one another.

1 Thessalonians 5:11              Encourage and build up one another up.

Colossians 3:13                       Bear with each other and forgive.

Romans 12:9-10                      Let love be genuine, seek to outdo each other in giving honor.

Philippians 2:3-4                    In humility value others above yourself and not only look out for your own interest but the interest of others.

Proverbs 12:26                        The righteous choose their friends carefully.

Proverbs 13:20                        Walk with the wise and become wise.

Proverbs 19:20                        Accept discipline and advice, be wise.

Psalm 34                                 Seek peace and pursue it.

1 Corinthians 15:58                Give yourself fully to the work of the Lord.

23 comments:

  1. Your strength is resilient and your faith deeply rooted. Love you Jamie!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Beautiful post. So profound and encouraging! ❤️

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi Jaime. I've been following your family's story since the beginning and I'm so glad your blog was linked in the latest gofundme update. I know that God's plan B for your family will be amazing! Love and blessings to you both. ❤

    ReplyDelete
  4. What a wonderful blog post! Your faith is inspiring. I can't imagine the loss you've been through. I continue to pray for you and Jake that He will hold you through the pain and give you hope. God's plan B is good. Blessings!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh Jamie, beautiful!! I've followed your story since last year, was waiting to go look for you guys when the call came you'd been found ❤️ you're writing is beautiful, and empowering for anyone going through a similar situation. Love and blessings to your family! You're all in my prayers

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for the prayers and kind words, Tess, and especially thank you for being willing to go out and look for us! Every time the wind rustled through the tree or a stone slid down the side of the hill, we thought it might be someone coming to rescue us and started calling for help. It was so cold out there and it was a long two days waiting to be found, imagining who might be out looking for us. Really appreciate you and everyone else who was willing to come look!

      Delete
  6. Jamie
    You are such an encourager pointing to Christ first and foremost. Praying for you and Jake as you live in plan b or c eyc, praising God for His abilities and a long alphabet. I am, so thankful for the deep rooted faith you display in the God of the universe and the lover of our souls. Only He can bring the peace and healing your family needs.

    LaVonne Clark

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you LaVonne! Yes, God definitely has a long alphabet!

      Delete
  7. I think you’re an amazing writer… your God given talent and gift of faith HAS to be publicized!!! Why hasn’t your story been publicized? I will pray not only for your healing Jamie but for your words to touch every human possible !! ❤️๐Ÿ™

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Kathy. :) I'm just starting with this blog for now, but I will probably write a book someday. Jacob and I are still in a tough chapter right now, we've gotta live through a few more chapters before I can write a book! ;)

      Delete
  8. I also been following you from the beginning. You should write a book about your life event, and struggles. Then further go on to tell how and what got you through and have you strength. I think it's wonderful that your trying to have another baby it won't replace the two you had but will help with the grieving, the coping, and most of all purpose.... you in my prayers

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, that is right on, having another baby definitely won't replace the babies we lost, but will help fill some of those areas. And thank you for your prayers and encouragement, yes, I probably will write a book someday.

      Delete
  9. Beautiful deep post! I was very stirred to press in with the Lord. Ron and I were VERY blessed to have time with you and Jake.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    2. Thank you! I'm glad to hear you were stirred to press in with the Lord. Can you tell me your last name? I'm sure we were blessed to have time with you guys too, I just need to put a face with the name! ;)

      Delete
  10. As a mom who works full time out of town at wenatchee hospital sometimes in the covid unit where we are losing people daily this made me cry. I live in Carlton and when the fire went through my loss for you 2 was so great cause as a parent I couldnt imagine losing 1 but both children. You couldn t have said this better then my grandpa who was a pentacostal assembly of god pastor for over 50 years. I believe you need to write an inspirational book for women. You truely are an inspiration to me. God Bless you and Your husband. I would so be your sarrogate in a heart beat. Carrying my 4 kids was the best thing I ever did.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your kind words Tarrie! And how beautiful of you to offer to be our surrogate. :) It's obvious you place a high value on kids and family, congratulations on having 4! Blessings to you and your family.

      Delete
  11. Thank you… I needed this๐Ÿ’•

    ReplyDelete

Update 2024

I haven't allotted time and mental space to my blog for a while, but it's just on hold, not forgotten. ;)  I am loving the process o...