Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God. You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. - Romans 8:5-9
While God has given us a set of guidelines to live by, we must recognize that they are the protection of a loving father, not the restrictions of a tyrannical bully. Also, we must recognize that there are different parts of a human being. Perhaps another time we will talk about Spirit, Soul, and Body... but today the focus is on our "New Creation" vs. our "Old Creation".
When we die with Christ, we die to the "Old Creation", the part of ourselves that is hostile to God and incapable of pleasing Him. The Old Creation is selfish, evil, and petty. The New Creation is kind, holy, and beautiful. Some believers get caught in a trap of "performance", constantly trying to force their Old Creation to live righteously. This is not good! The only solution is for the Old Creation to stay dead!!! When we live from our New Creation, we do not make righteous choices to "perform", but rather because it is our nature to live rightly. So it must become a daily habit to say "no" to self, and keep the Old Creation in the grave. Then we live in life and peace that comes from being who we truly are: the New Creation.